From My Desk To Yours...


Thoughts On Suicide

This morning, I learned of Anthony Bourdain’s suicide. On Tuesday, I learned of Kate Spade’s suicide. Over the past week, I have also had friends lose loved ones and acquaintances, some of natural causes, but a surprising number to suicide. In fact, the majority, sadly. Thankfully, because I am surrounded by social workers and other thoughtful people on social media, there have been many posts about mental health, coupled with the suicide hotline number. Not surprisingly, as I read through some of the comments on the celebrity deaths, there were people who chose to speak out without compassion… or understanding. They couldn’t fathom how somebody who “had it all” (aka: wealth and fame) should be mourned for being “stupid enough”…
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The ‘One Size Fits All’ Myth

Life is not “one size fits all.” It never has been, and never will be… thankfully. Our health, our bodies, our faith (to name a few) – they’re all beautifully individual and unique, as they were meant to be, despite Madison Avenue’s best efforts to convince us otherwise. Where we have found overlap and commonality, we have created fellowship or community. But those communities survive (and thrive) not because of our similarities, but because of our differences. Unfortunately, so many industries are built up (and thrive) on this notion of convincing us that we are all meant to be the same, or “within normal limits.” [That’s actually a term used in medicine: WNL, and that’s what it stands for. But…
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The Importance of Gratitude

Thank you

I still write “Thank You” notes. By hand. And put them in the post. Not for everything, but for a lot of things. People ask me why, and it’s because I believe saying “Thank You” is one of the most important things we can do to support and grow our relationships – both professional and personal. When I worked in fundraising, we were taught that we needed to “thank” our donors or volunteers seven times. This didn’t mean that we said “thank you” seven times (or sent seven thank you notes – yikes!), but that in some way we expressed gratitude seven times between when they made their gift or volunteered their time until the next time they would do…
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When “Tomorrow” Never Comes

tomorrow never comes quote

You always think you have more tomorrows, until suddenly yesterday’s “tomorrow” never comes. My sweet bird passed away yesterday (May 16, 2018). I am broken-hearted. She was with me for 17 years, 10 of which she was my closest companion during difficult times. She was my first “child” and loved to be kissed on the head. I kissed her goodbye last night, and cried. Today was the first day I haven’t heard her chirp in the morning when she heard me come downstairs. Nothing can prepare us for loss, no matter what or who it is we are losing. My one wish is that I hadn’t said “tomorrow” as much as I did.  

Sour Grapes Make Bad Wine

Sour Grapes Quote

I was talking with a friend the other day, and we were both sharing similar stories of what happened when we had announced something successful in our lives. The common denominator after each announcement? We both “lost” followers/friends on online platforms. *sigh* Why do we do this? It takes a certain amount of thought and a deliberate action to “unfollow” or “unfriend” someone, and when it’s done in response to that person sharing some happy news, it simply causes me to shake my head in wonder. But we’re human, right? We feel things and we get reactionary. I know I do. I do my best not to, and it’s definitely not my immediate “go-to” anymore, but sometimes it still happens….
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We Teach Expectations

We teach expectations

One of the simplest truths came up again today when talking with a client: We teach people what to expect of us. If you’re always willing to give, you teach people to expect that you will always give. And then when you don’t… watch out! They often get mad, and/or take offense. Likewise, if you’re always taking, you teach people around you to expect that you won’t contribute, and eventually, they choose not to be around you. Because nobody likes a one-way relationship. Right? Expectations are the quicksand we were always told to fear in our youth. They catch us unaware and all too quickly snare us while slowly taking us under. And just like quicksand, we often need external…
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My NEW Book of Poetry is HERE!

Infinite In My Heart cover

As a writer, I am always transforming thoughts into words, whether it’s the inspirational wisdom I share regularly in InspireBytes™ or the self-help guidance and teachings that I put into full-length books. (What now..? will be out in November… stay tuned!) While you may be familiar with my prose (it’s been almost a decade with InspireBytes, so I hope so!), I recently compiled an assortment of poetry that I have written over the years into my first book of poems, lovingly titled: Infinite In My Heart: Poems of Love, Loss, and Hope. From the back cover: Who among us hasn’t experienced Love? or Loss? or the great Hope that accompanies every new and wondrous relationship?  In ‘Infinite In My Heart: Poems of…
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“Beauty” Isn’t Objective

Beauty is subjective

“Beauty” is one of the most subjective ideas in the world, simultaneously the one most forced into objectivity. As women (because I can only speak from my female perspective), we live in a society where we are told, both directly and indirectly, what’s beautiful. We are encouraged to buy and use products to be more like the “traditional (aka: objectified) standard of beauty” in order to actually be deemed “acceptable.” Over the years, out of curiosity I have asked my male friends (and exes) what they consider sexy, or beautiful, in a woman. Their answers were as varied as the people themselves, but here are just a few I found interesting: A silk blouse with no bra on A black…
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Rest and Relaxation

blue-striped hammock

I bought a hammock! It’s obvious that rest and relaxation are important to our wellbeing. But there is a big difference between “rest” and “relaxation” – something I’ve only just recently understood myself. Relaxation is a state of resting,  but it’s not the same as rest. Relaxation is the ability to slow down and enjoy something leisurely, perhaps by read a book, or doing some coloring. It may even be sitting on a park bench listening to birds chirping overhead. Relaxation is a really important component to daily life, and it involves quieting the mind and body to give it room to breathe. Rest is different. As I’ve only recently discovered, rest is a state of pure nothingness. It’s a…
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It doesn’t get easier…

It Doesn't Get Easier image

I’ve been writing about my experience with an aging/ailing parent lately. I think I’ve hit a point at which I can no longer contain all of the emotions, thoughts, and words within me reasonably. So, I’m writing. Partially to help myself and create some room (because room allows for healing), and partially because I know I am not alone in this experience… and maybe my words can help someone else who feels alone, as I have. A few days ago, my first article on all this was published on The Manifest Station (you can read it here), and it prompted an outpouring of love and support from friends and strangers alike. (Though, we’re all friends, aren’t we? If we’re reaching…
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