Acceptance Is The Key

This past week I’ve been soul-searching a bit, as I meandered through the last few days of the online workshop I mentioned a couple of weeks ago. It’s been an interesting process, to say the least. On the one hand, I was prompted – quite literally – to explore certain topics, approaches, and ideas behind what it means to be authentic and show up in your marketing. And on the other hand, I was unknowingly moved into a space of mental and emotional decluttering during the process. Needless to say, both were rather exhausting. Now that I’m on the back-end of it all, I can see the benefits of having done the exercise. Not only do I have a better understanding of just…
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Leading or Paving the Way Forward

Isn’t so much of life about reacting to something, rather than creating something anew? They say there are no more original ideas. I don’t think that’s entirely true, but I think it’s mostly true. I read the words of poets that are hundreds of years old, and I hear their words echo through the ages in more contemporary authors. Several years ago, in a very vulnerable moment riddled with self-doubt, I once shared with someone who I consider to be part friend, part teacher, and part counselor that I didn’t think I had any hope of a future in writing or inspiring others. I told him I had nothing to contribute to the conversation about self-help that hadn’t already been…
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Getting Real (the real truth behind playing small)

I didn’t have anything to write for this week. I thought I did, but I’m still processing that piece with my mentor. It was longer, and I needed some feedback on whether it was too long for this weekly venue. (I’ve been a little mired in thought.) I suppose I’m not surprised this has come up. Last week I started a 3-week workshop on being authentic in marketing. It’s about showing up and allowing yourself to be seen as you are. Exactly as you are. (Yikes!) I’m not surprised that I found this workshop challenging at times; however, I was shocked by what I found surprising. Firstly, let me say how difficult I find self-promotion to be. In a world where…
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The Importance of Having a Lover

I think everyone should have a Lover. To be clear, I’m not referring to what Hollywood defines as a “lover” in its stories of lust and betrayal. No, this Lover is different – this is a Lover with a capital “L.” A Lover is someone who loves you unconditionally exactly as you are and simultaneously inspires you to be better. A Lover touches your soul, while embracing your humanity. They don’t “complete you” (as Hollywood would have us believe) – they invite you to be your complete self. Without judgment or expectation, a Lover holds space for all that you are, and all that you can be… mind, body and soul. Having a Lover is not about betrayal, lies or secrecy. It’s…
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My Favorite Italian Word

In Eat Pray Love Liz Gilbert suggested we all have a word that defines us or our situation. For her it was “attraversiamo,” which translates to “let’s cross over,” that defined the period of her life in which she wrote the book. I like the idea of using words to define our chronological life eras (Duh! I’m a writer.) But I like even more the idea of uncovering the words that propel our lives, that guide us, regardless of what era we are in. To me, that feels more expansive, more filled with potential and the essence of What if..? In the shower the other morning, I found myself muttering “anch’io” over and over again. It sort of just rolls off the tongue… ahn-kee-oh. I love…
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Perspective Is A Choice (and how it can improve your life)

Lately I’ve been using the hashtag #perspectiveisachoice when posting some updates on social media. It was a phrase that sort of appeared in my lexicon as I shared some challenges I had experienced that resulted in my choosing to think differently. In other words, through these frustrating situations, I consciously chose to remember grace and gratitude, which made the events less frustrating. My awareness was raised to the point of acceptance and understanding, which then allowed me to remove myself from the situation emotionally, and regain my power from a position of neutrality. As you know, I believe neutrality is the most powerful tool in your toolbox. That being said, as I wrote about and shared my anecdotes of frustration from a place of perspective,…
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The Powerlessness of Living Outside Yourself

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” – Alice Walker I came across this quote the other day, and it struck me with how simple it is. At first I wanted to disagree, because I was thinking that people mostly give up their power by having too many externalized hopes and expectations. They live outside of themselves, through others. This is a common trait in codependency: you define yourself and your world through or in relation to someone else. Your identity is based on anything but you. It’s a very powerless place to be. But then I re-read the quote again, and I realized the reason why I wanted to push…
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The Secret to a Happy Life: A Life Manual

This picture came across my newsfeed yesterday. I’m sure it’s not new to many of you, but it was new to me. I saw it, read it, and paused. And then I said, “Yes. That’s what I’ve done – that’s all I knew to do sometimes.” There were days of cursing, years of crying, and lots of fighting within myself sometimes. It wasn’t always pretty. In fact, it often wasn’t pretty. I battled depression, anxiety, loneliness, being overworked, underpaid, and in an isolating, often loveless, marriage. And I refused to let it get to me – so I stayed. Longer than I should have perhaps, but as long as I did. Until one day I left. In my life, my short…
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The Most Powerful Tool in Your Tool Box (No, it’s not a sledgehammer.)

If you’ve been with me for any length of time, you know I refer to my tool box often. It’s a constantly growing arsenal of lessons learned, experience gained, and skills acquired. During my recent book tour one attendee (who has been with me since 2010) suggest I change it from a “tool box” to a “tool shed” based on its ever-expanding size. She may be right. However, I think one of the most important things I can do for my clients and readers is to help them create their own growing tool box. The key word being “growing.” It’s essential for us to always be learning, expanding, and adding to our armory of useful skills and knowledge. However, it’s also important to…
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What Matters Most in Life (When a Fire Alarm and a Typo Became a Messenger)

How do we identify what’s truly important in life? (And why does it matter?) There are always the quick answers, such as: happiness, family, and health, but these are somewhat theoretically cliché and intangible, however true. It’s getting to the more tangible answers that eludes many of us until we are faced with crisis and/or tragedy. Last week I went through two unexpected situations which resulted in my having a direct and very clear understanding of what’s important in life (for me, anyway), and I found that there was an underlying message I needed to hear. When I sat down to write this week’s InspireBytes™ I took note of what the Universe was trying to tell me through these experiences,…
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