From My Desk To Yours...


Just Add… MUSIC!

If I were ever to make one of those lists – you know the kind I mean, the ones that are in every health, lifestyle, and inspirational magazine – to share my “top ten ideas for a better ________” (fill in the blank), it would undoubtedly include: Turn on the tunes! Music has a transformative power. It’s like audible lubrication for your emotions. Feeling sad and want to cry? Turn on a song that triggers your tears. Feeling tired and unmotivated to clean or work out? Boom! Music is the best ‘pep talk’ you can find. Feeling stressed and overwhelmed? Calm or soothing music can relax you within minutes. Music is one of my favorite tools in my toolbox, because…
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Words for a New Year

Any transition that can be marked in some tangible way is a great opportunity to invoke a shift in energy and consciousness. So, as we move from one year into another, I would like to share with you the words I spoke last night from my bed (shortly before midnight) to mark the occasion. Thank you to the previous year for supporting me and providing for me with numerous opportunities for growth, connection and understanding. As I move from one year to the next, I leave behind any and all obstacles that would keep me from my path. I release that which no longer serves me and send it back from whence it came, or to where it belongs. I…
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Self Care Simple Truths

“Self care” has been a big phrase that gets tossed around across multiple industries. We actually had a class on self-care in grad school because of the high burnout rate among social workers. (It wasn’t mandatory, but I think it should be.) Of course, self care is easy to talk about and harder to implement, for two main reasons: Self-care inevitably takes time, and time is something a lot of people feel they don’t have or shouldn’t take for themselves, because We’ve been taught to prioritize our lives in a non- self care way, stigmatizing the act of self care as a luxury or worse, selfish. But, self care is neither luxurious nor selfish, it’s a fundamental component to our…
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The Role of “Family” in Relationship

Over the years (more often than not), I have heard story after story about how stressful family gatherings are around the holidays. In fact, there is an entire product-based industry capitalizing off this stereotype. (One of my favorites is a funny dishtowel I spied in my aunt’s house): Now, not every family is dysfunctional, of course, because every experience of family is highly individual. What may appear to be “bad” to someone else, is “normal” or even fun to the person experiencing it. I’ve heard stories of yelling, fights, and behavior that would lead an outsider to believe that everybody hates everybody – when the reverse is actually true. Then I’ve heard stories of happy peaceful dinners, where after the…
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Guarding Against Sadness

In our Western society, we have a tendency to guard against sadness. When we see someone who is down, or struggling, we don’t sit with them in their pain, but rather, we try to encourage them to not be sad. We even tell them that they shouldn’t be sad, and then list a long array of reasons why they need to be happy. The truth is, though, when we do that, it’s because we are uncomfortable with their sadness, because it reminds us of our own. Now, I’m not talking about the person who is perpetually negative or complaining (nor about the individual experiencing clinical depression). That’s a different story. I’m talking about the person who just found out that…
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Grateful – so much more than a word

Grateful: One word that says so much, yet doesn’t fully convey its own depth. How could a word be both profound and simple? A feeling and an action? Something that can drop me to my knees with humility and fill me with grace in the same breath? And yet, also be part of daily life at the most genuine small moments? For me, being grateful isn’t about one day a year, it’s every day. And yet, I’m grateful that we have identified one day to focus on gratitude… to give thanks.

The Gift of All Saints’ Day

On November 1st, with Halloween behind us and the holiday season looming on the horizon, I think All Saints’ Day is the perfect day to pause and reflect. It’s like a reset button for your soul – if you choose to use it. Recently, I’ve felt a growing urgency to push that button. To reset. To step back. To breathe… To simply hit the ginormous pause button in the sky. (Is there one?) When we’re on overload – physically, mentally, and emotionally – it also affects us spiritually, whether we’re aware of it or not. And, to me, a day that’s named for all the saints that have come before us is the perfect time to raise our awareness and…
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Where do you belong?

The other day I was thinking about belonging. I had worked with a client who said to me, “I don’t know where I fit in…” To which I replied: “The question is not where do you fit in… The question is where do you belong.” It’s so important to feel a sense of belonging. Ideally, we feel like we belong to our families as we are growing up – but I know that’s not true for a lot of people. Then there’s the fellowship of community: neighborhoods, religious institutions, school groups, sports, activities. All of these create opportunities for us to belong to something. To be a part of something. But even then it can be difficult to feel a sense…
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Resiliency and Stability

If you want to know how resilient you truly are… live through a major home renovation. Ok, I’m kidding… sort of. I know I’m resilient. I’ve been through a lot worse emotionally, but living at home with no kitchen and no bedroom – my mattress in the floor in another room, and my clothes scattered between a couple drawers, hangers, and bags – has been surprisingly difficult. Before it all began, I thought “What’s the big deal?” We moved a microwave and refrigerator into the living room and bought a hot plate. I thought it would be easy. Or at least easier. First world problems, I know. Turns out, it’s not easy for me to live without the stability of…
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