I think everyone should have a Lover.
To be clear, I’m not referring to what Hollywood defines as a “lover” in its stories of lust and betrayal. No, this Lover is different – this is a Lover with a capital “L.”
A Lover is someone who loves you unconditionally exactly as you are and simultaneously inspires you to be better. A Lover touches your soul, while embracing your humanity. They don’t “complete you” (as Hollywood would have us believe) – they invite you to be your complete self. Without judgment or expectation, a Lover holds space for all that you are, and all that you can be… mind, body and soul.
Having a Lover is not about betrayal, lies or secrecy. It’s not about having an affair, cheating, or keeping someone in the shadows. Though sexual intimacy may be involved, a Lover transcends the act of sex.
So, who is the Lover?
Well, you might already know them. They might be your partner (lucky you!), a family member, or a friend/acquaintance. Or you might not have met them yet. What matters is understanding why it’s important to experience this kind of relationship in your life.
A Lover is the person who opens you up to yourself. It’s the person who somehow magically holds the key to your inner kingdom, a kingdom you may not have even been aware existed, and they invite you home.
You meet this person, connect (often times faster than your time together reasonably warrants), and suddenly you start to know yourself better. And when you’ve stepped away from your true self, from your core, the Lover gently and effortlessly nudges you back. Even when it’s direct and blunt, it feels like love and grace because of its deep honesty. The Lover is your friend, your confidante, your teacher, your student, your coach and your teammate.
The Lover asks nothing of you but to be who you are.
And, yes, the Lover can be your lover – and when that happens, the Universe is set afire.
When your Lover is also your lover, sex and pleasure take a back seat to connection in such a way that they are enhanced beyond comprehension. Love-making becomes about union – two inner kingdoms uniting, powerfully, peacefully. A simple embrace shifts the surrounding energy for miles, in a ripple effect.
It is a connection of souls who have known each other forever, who seek to unite, create, and experience deep bliss and freedom in their union.
More importantly, however, having a Lover means being a Lover. One is not possible without the other. A Lover is not here to rescue, save, or liberate us from our internal cages. We must first have found that wisdom and strength within ourselves, dissolving all bars and locks to who we are. Only then can the true power of having and being a Lover manifest, not only in our relationship with each other, but in all that we do.
And finally, perhaps most importantly, when we look in the mirror, may we all know it is the Lover who is looking back.