Category Archives: intuition

Using the Back Burner

If you read my contribution to 365 Moments of Grace, you’ll know that I find connection in the shower. There’s something about the flowing water that serves as a great conduit to intuition and clarity. It’s almost as if the water washes away the veil between worlds.

Yesterday was no different. As I stood in the shower, rinsing my hair, I was musing on the many directions my path could take from here, and how I felt rather stuck in a few of them. I lamented the fact that I didn’t have a single passion to pursue with abandon, like an article I had recently read about an Ornithologist. I contemplated all the things that I have been working on, and plan to work on, and I felt understandably overwhelmed. In case you hadn’t noticed, my brain is almost always running, creating, and divining.

In my overwhelm I started down the all-too-common path of dismay. Wondering why my book has received such great feedback and commentary, but hasn’t hit a critical mass yet. Why my numerous certifications and degrees had yet to open that magical door – through which my future becomes assured. In other words, I was feeling discouraged and disheartened that I had yet to find the “magic bullet” of success.

Now, this is something I know all too well, and at my heart, I can honestly say that I know I have been successful. When a reader, client, or audience member shares a story of how my words have impacted their lives for the better, I have been successful. Just one story would make me successful, and I have significantly more than one. So, I know this – and yet…

And yet, I’m human.

I live in a society that has other measurements of success, and while I can be altruistic, I can also recognize that I am human, which sometimes leads to moments of dismay and desire. And so it was in the middle of my shower, with soap bubbles streaming out of my hair that I succumbed to the dismay. And in that moment, these words appeared before me in my mind’s eye:

“Put your energy into that which you want, rather than dismay around that which you haven’t manifested yet.”

dismay and manifesting

The message was clear. Sometimes those things that we’ve already manifested get moved to a back burner on a low simmer, like a slow-cooking sauce. It’s frustrating to have to wait for the results, but oh-so-worth-it in the end, because time made it more delicious.

The question is: Once you’ve deliberately moved your pots to the back burners, what do you do in the meantime?

You focus on something else, trusting that you’ve already manifested that which is in alignment with your soul, and released it to the Universe. If you keep stirring the pot (dismay), it will never become what it’s meant to be. So, you move it to the back burner and let time and the Universe do the rest. Meanwhile, you pull out another pot.

There is no limitation on manifesting. The only limits are those in your own mind. You can have a thousand pots, or one – the choice is yours. And the choice is made by where you put your energy.

P.S. A great BIG welcome to the new subscribers! Thank you for being here and joining in on this journey that we call life. Together, we can make it a little more enjoyable. 🙂

Getting Real (the real truth behind playing small)

I didn’t have anything to write for this week. I thought I did, but I’m still processing that piece with my mentor. It was longer, and I needed some feedback on whether it was too long for this weekly venue. (I’ve been a little mired in thought.)

I suppose I’m not surprised this has come up. Last week I started a 3-week workshop on being authentic in marketing. It’s about showing up and allowing yourself to be seen as you are. Exactly as you are. (Yikes!)

I’m not surprised that I found this workshop challenging at times; however, I was shocked by what I found surprising.

Firstly, let me say how difficult I find self-promotion to be. In a world where it seems to be rampant, I prefer to sit back, just be who I am, doing what I do, and trusting that the audience/clients/readers who need me will find me. While I don’t think that’s untrue, I also know that it’s not actually being in service of my gifts, or the Universe, to not make it easy(ier) for people to find me.

During the first week of the workshop, we were prompted to make mini-videos about our perceived weaknesses and strengths. We were invited to “get real” in a safe space, in order to normalize and even neutralize our perceptions of self. I thought my surprise would come from just doing videos, or talking about what physical attributes made me feel disempowered – but actually, all that was fine. In fact, it was empowering in a way.

It was only when it came time to discuss my spiritual gifts – my talents, abilities, and presence – that I was shocked by what happened next. I collapsed emotionally, because I had an ‘A-Ha! moment’ – an awareness that I could no longer deny.

On the one hand, I LOVE who I am. I love what I do, and what my soul’s purpose is. I cannot express enough how much I love my path and my journey. I intend to help many thousands, if not millions of people through my work. On the other hand, I hate anything to do with self-promotion, because it’s all so… noisy.

But then it hit me:

By not engaging in (aligned) self-promotion in order to be accessible, I am disavowing my gifts. I am essentially thumbing my nose at the Universe.

“Oh God! What have I done?”

It felt awful. This realization sent me reeling into a massive state of guilt, fear, shame, doubt, and anger and frustration. I reached out to two trusted friends and began the process of wading through the feelings, thoughts, and beliefs surrounding this situation – this realization.

I know now that I need a better plan. I need to find a method that is both aligned with who I am (aka: not noisy) and allows me to be seen fully for who I am, and what I’m here to do – my contributions to the world.

Before last week, I was content to play small, because it was “anti-noisy.” It almost felt altruistic. It’s easy to stay safe and small when you’re against something obnoxious. It’s much harder to do when you realize that by doing so, you’ve actually been going against something even greater. In fact, it was heart-breaking.

So, while I don’t know what all this means yet or how it will unfold, I know one thing is for certain: playing small disavows our gifts, which then disavows the Universe. It would be like someone handing you the winning lottery ticket, and you replying with, “No, no, I’m good…” It simply doesn’t make sense. And yet, we all seem to do it at some point in our lives.

Whether you are an artist, a lawyer, a teacher, a social worker, a parent, a spouse, or anything else you might be – if you’re playing small in your role, you are disavowing the gifts that have been given to you. You’re tossing them aside and taking them for granted. I know. It’s what I’ve been doing. Hurts to say, but I titled this post “Getting Real” for a reason.

So, now I’m off to plan my roadmap to greatness, away from playing small and into a space in which I am embracing my gifts and all the potential that has been given me. A place in which I am visible, accessible, and living my life’s purpose. I don’t know what this map looks like yet, I just know that it’s time to start heading out, deliberately, and in alignment with who I am. (Still don’t plan to be “noisy.”)

And I invite you to do the same. If you’re playing small, and your heart wants you to go big – maybe it’s time to create your own roadmap. And maybe we’ll cross paths on our respective journeys and journey along together for a while. Until then…

xoxo